California Gay Marriage...Is it Time for a New Idea?

The California Supreme Court says same-sex marriage is a human right. Woo-hoo, our rights actually might increase a notch.

That’s cause for celebration in this Patriot Act Decade, when our rights have been disappearing faster than polar bears. A friend from Scotland was recently denied re-entry to the USA, where he is legally quite gainfully employed, because several years ago he went scuba diving in the Red Sea. Did Homeland Security think that name meant it was a commie lake? No, they accurately detected that it’s located in the Middle East. You cannot swim underwater with Arabs on nearby shores and expect to work in the land of the free.

So I figured now at least two guys can tie the knot in Fresno. Then a California friend called, and he seemed less happy.

My astute friend – he lives in San Francisco, where everyone is either astute or gay and usually both – pointed out that six of the seven judges who made the ruling are Republicans.

Now the issue is not only headed for the California ballot, but for the national political spotlight in November.

So that got me thinking about the sacrament of marriage. I offer a new idea (if those are allowed) for the left: campaign for an end to state-sponsored marriage.

This has the advantage of being good policy and also throws the right wing gay-bashers off their game. And maybe we’ll win a few people over: that’s one element that the left often avoids, but what the hell, let’s go for it.

So, here’s the plan.

Marriage would henceforth be sanctified only by priests, imams, monks and sundry other consecrated ones. No more sacraments at city hall.

The state shall henceforth grant a civil union to any couple over the age of consent. This will cover such un-spiritual matters as pensions, health care, inheritance and form 1040.

We can point out that we’re saving holy marriage by getting activist judges and secular legislators out of the loop. In fact, if any judge so much as mentions marriage, we’ll have that sucker impeached, recalled or whatever pulls their judicial plug.

We can seek endorsements from bible thumpers of all stripes – from Frisco to Waco -- for the Holy Sanctified Marriage Act. Even the polygamists can get on board: marry as many consenting adults as your personal potentate prescribes.

The term win-win just leaps to mind.