It's America -- I Need Another Credit Card

A while ago some company misplaced their financial records, so I got a notice offering a free sub to TrueCredit. This outfit monitors your accounts to check for identity theft, or, more likely, your college-age kid looting your mastercard to play on-line poker.

It did say free, so I signed up.

Today I got a monthly report and instead of deleting it as usual, I read it. I learned of a wonderful opportunity to find out my "credit score," and since it again said free, I snapped it up.

My score is "748," which is pretty decent for the Verbal SAT so I figured I could go back to college. Then I saw the scale and it turns out I am "good" but well shy of "very good." I am in precisely the 78th percentile, which probably gets me into the Wayne State of Credit. Or maybe just WCCC.

I wondered why I didn't ace this test. I thought of yesteryear's indiscretions, when I operated on a cash-only basis, used other names, and skipped out on many bills. But those good ol’ days were a "free period." No computer, no foul.

Wow, 748. Not 7 of 10, not even 74 of 100, but a really precise, highly scientific "score." So how can I become a better person?

The answer was just a scroll away. It was addressed "Dear Stosh" so I feel sure it was personally crafted for me.

TrueCredit had two important pieces of advice for me.

"Consider opening a new account to strengthen your credit report and improve your score." To get a good score, I need to get more credit cards! From looking at the wallets (yes, I peek) of fellow customers at the grocery store, they must ace this puppy.

"It is a good idea to use your credit cards regularly but remember to keep your balances at or below 35 percent of your available credit limits." OK. Not only do I need more cards, but also I must "use them regularly." Run them up to 35% of the limit ($15K on my present card, so that would be $5,250 debt to carry at 17% interest.) I need multiple cards used regularly to become a "very good" citizen, credit-wise.

So the banking industry gives you a high "score" if you open more credit cards at their banks and use them regularly to pay the banks enormous interest rates. And their "score" pretends to be science, and determines how much mortgage interest you pay.

After careful consideration, I decided to retain my relatively modest credit status, and just work on boosting my self-esteem in other ways. I'll bet someone sells scores for that, too.