My Very Own Sicko

If I made a movie about American healthcare, I would not make France the positive example. Too alienating to the American mainstream. Not only did they go to France, but then the director squished his fat self into a teeny-weeny frogmobile to head out on a "house call" (Americans do not want doctors coming to their house; they barely let their neighbors come there.)

And I would think twice before having one of my stars mention that some American doctors want five fancy cars. Too alienating to the middle class left; that's my core audience.

Speaking of stars, would I make the film's political guru a Labor Party has-been, who speaks in that stiff British accent we love to mock? Don't think so.

And for chrissake the last frigging thing I would ever do is put Cuba in the damn thing. What was he thinking?!

That's what I would do. A clean case, straightforward, on the mark. No distractions.

No one would come to see it. Weekend gross would be exactly zero. My friends would glumly accept a free DVD and tell me it was good, the way you tell your mom her meatloaf is good.

This is why I do leaflets and Mike Moore does films. They are tightly scripted for sure, but they veer off course. I suspect that the mass demo scenes in France (no way would those get in my movie) were actually conceived by the unscripted remarks of one of the interviewees.

I think the Canada-England-France-Cuba odyssey made the film. The first half of personal stories of American medical evils, that part was good. But some seemed over the top. Like a woman's policy was cancelled after the fact, sticking her with five-figure bills, because she previously failed to disclose she had a yeast infection. (I have a five-figure medical bill lying around here somewhere, and I am not fearing that Blue Cross will say I failed to disclose my childhood measles. Then again, perhaps I should be.) The personal stuff was good, but the case for every-other-country-does-it-better, in its Moore-ish trek and screwball manner, made the movie. Yes, including the wacky, inappropriate Cuba ending.

It made the case for socialized medicine in a real way, without charts and graphs.

So the Nation review (interesting, and positive to be sure) says the Cuba part spoiled the movie, by turning off all the anti-commies. I'm giving that a thumbs down. It makes me realize that the only thing more boring than my movie would be one made by the editorial board of the Nation. Even the foundation that gave them the grant wouldn't watch that puppy.

$4.6 million the first weekend. I dont know if that is on track with Fahrenheit or not. Hope so. It's his most important film yet.